Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
