well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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