It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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