Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
