he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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