the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
