Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
