drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
NoShamevember. You game?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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