I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
