you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
