Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
