I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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