Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
