Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
