Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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