Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize