And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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