What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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