walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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