She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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