Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
