the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
