I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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