Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
