I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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