You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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