What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
