his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize