I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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