I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize