Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
