So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
