just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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