You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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