Your dad touched me again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
