I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
