What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
