one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
