So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
