I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
