This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize