Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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