Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
