THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
