im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im holly from the hills drunk
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
