Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
