Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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