I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
