Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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