i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
