Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
