....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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