It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
