She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
