The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
