non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
