I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
