The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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