i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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