the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
then he tried to convert me to islam
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize