Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
