Dual....:-)
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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