he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
