It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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