Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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